Guess what time it is? It’s Elf on the Shelf time! In other words, in our house, Reuben will soon return! You didn’t think that I would forego this bandwagon did you? Of course not! Reuben is the highlight of our Christmas season. I guess that’s a little pathetic…sigh. And before you ask, the only reason I have a Barbie at my house is to keep Reuben company. He wouldn’t be this cool without friends.

Since we don’t have any “official” children in our house (my husband qualifies occasionally), our elf Reuben can be a little dirty at times. So proceed with caution:

(From Top, Left to Right)

1. Reuben at the Strip Club. And not the kind that serves steaks.

2. Reuben is a Packers fan, so he went hunting Bears before the big game. Clearly he did well, the Bears lost.

3. On December 24th (last day of Elf), Reuben relaxed in a homemade hammock under the Christmas Tree. Don’t worry, that’s milk.

4. B couldn’t find Reuben anywhere, until he put on his PJs. Reuben sewed himself right in.

5. Reuben came in like a Wrecking Ball. Except with clothes on. He has much more common sense than Miley. We’re so proud.

6. Reuben started a bonfire on the stove with all B’s favorite Bears memorabilia. Take Note: He’s roasting marshmallows.

7. Reuben went out to party one night and got locked out. Take note husbands: You leave to party, you get locked out.

8. Reuben came in on a sleigh with 6 ReinBeers. They probably led the way to the party the night before.

My Favorites! The Movie Themes:

Can you guess before I tell you?

1. Silence of the Lambs: Buffalo Bill. “It puts the lotion on its skin.” Reuben even went the extra mile with a woman’s dress and high heels.

2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: Uncle Eddy. Emptying the “shitter.” Don’t forget the cigar and white bathrobe!

3. Forrest Gump: Self. “Life is like a box of chocolates.”

4. The Godfather: Jack Woltz. Finds his prized horse’s head in his bed. And yes, that bed is handmade. By me. I had a lot of time on my hands.

5. Titanic: Jack. Notice his suspenders, and Barbie is even wearing the Heart of the Ocean.

6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo. He likes pizza as much as we do.

7. Castaway: Chuck Noland. On his last day, B found a note that said Reuben was on his way back to the North Pole when his plane went down. No one had heard anything from him since. At least he has Wilson.

8. Edward Scissorhands: Self.  He’s trimming the Christmas tree into animal shapes.

1. Dick in a Box (SNL).  Complete with directions.

2. Reuben wanted a brother or sister. Poking holes in protection!

3. Reuben the voyeur. Barbie was on the patio.

4. Spin the bottle. Hope Reuben swings both ways.

5. Beer pong! I hope he made us proud.

6. Ball and Chain. The year before our wedding. Reuben tried to tell B to get out while he could.

7. Marriage Counselor. If you like your marriage counselor, you can keep your marriage counselor.

8. Reuben was arrested. He’s grounded until next year.

We are very excited to see what Reuben has in store for this year. Which Reuben is your favorite?

Shameless plug: Pin your favorite photo collage! You can find all of these and more on Reuben’s Pinterest page!